Ron T

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join the local street and motorcycle gang, drinking, smoking marijuana and fooling around with the girls until I got killed like some I knew. That night at camp I saw people doing something I had never seen before, i.e. consistently and sincerely Loving on each other sincerely, unselfishly and joyfully. I wanted what they had desperately so I decided I would imitate them so maybe I could fit and they would accept me into their joyful and loving society. I knew what they had was real when I got up that next freezing morning on Mt. Palomar, walked into the men's room and saw guys really joyful and really loving each other, heart to heart and eye to eye -- like a loving and joyous family reunion on a Sunday afternoon. All the more I decided that I wanted what they had and tried to imitate them so I could at least be accepted by them, if I couldn't have what they had. On a noon hike that Saturday I was hanging out on the edge of the group, trying to fit

The Bible, Amy Carmichael's The Gold Cord, Kim's If I Perish, I Dared To Call Him Father, Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret, George Mueller of Bristol England

she came gently over to me as I was kicking the root and hitting the tree and verbally dumping. She quietly stood beside me and asked me if I would like to know why I do things like I was doing, why I mess up. Well you know that I wanted to know that, because I was sick and tired of messing up, especially after messing up in the presence of the first real joyful and loving people I ever knew. So she asked me to sit down on a big rock over looking Don Valley on Palomar Mt. and she proceeded to explain to me why I messed and how Jesus could still Love a jerk like me, that He wanted a personal and intimate relationship, to be my God and King, my Shepherd and my Deliverer, and to make me a forever son of His Father. For the next three hours she showed me, gently and patiently, how and why Jesus Loved me. I believed Jesus was real, but I sure didn't think that He Loved me. The proof that persuaded me that God not only could but actually did Love me was t

Christ died for me, died in my place, took my rap and punishment. I could argue with most other points, but I couldn't deny that Jesus died. Even unbelievers believed Jesus lived and died. To me that was a historical fact that few disputed. So when I saw that I had solid historical evidence that Jesus died, I was ready to seriously consider that just maybe He Loved me enough to really die for me. I respected and believed the Bible, so when she showed me book after book, chapter after chapter, verse after verse that plainly stated that the reason Jesus died (that solid historical fact), was because God so Loved me and the world and because He wanted to Love me as my Father, as Shepherd, as King, as Deliverer in a very intimate and personal relationship, - - - - my eyes began to see, my mind to understand, and my heart wanted that Love. When she showed me why He let them kill Him, that it was His choice, that He died to take my place in the court of Divine

-- well she had me. I couldn't deny that he died, and she persuaded that God so Loved me that He sent His only begotten Son to die in my place so that I could be His forever child ---- Eureka! Yahoo! Hot dog! I had discovered the Love I was looking for, a Love that I could live for, a Love to give my life to and for. I already believed that He rose from the dead and was coming back. Now I could have a relationship with the GOD who was real, unselfish and compassionate cherishing Love. I believed her, accepted Him and got all excited. I told her that I had to check all of this out with the youth sponsor, Chuck Hill, to make sure that all that she told me was right on. If she were an angel, then I can see why I had to check it out with Chuck, because the Bible makes it plain that soul-winning is the work, not of angels, but of the Spirit and his human servants. After Chuck confirmed everything the woman had told me, I tanked him and went up the other hi

I was raised in a home where my dad was an active California supporter of the KKK and White Citizen's Council, who would proclaim loudly at home that Hitler was one of the greatest men that ever lived. He partied and drank with his cronies when both Kennedys and Dr. ML King were killed. He hated Jews, Catholics, AfroAms, Mexicans -- almost anyone who wasn't WASP. He was from a factory working family in Missouri. My mom was an abused, neglected and sexually exploited Ohio farm girl who looked like the young Mary Tyler Moore and whose prejudice ran like this -- "You can go to school with them, work with them, go to church with them, live next door to them, but never date or marry one." My dad was a functioning social drinking alcoholic, and was addicted to porn, so porn was hidden in many places in the house. By the 4th grade I was becoming sexually addicted through the National Geographic magazines pictures of topless African women and nude Sout

join the local street and motorcycle gang, drinking, smoking marijuana and fooling around with the girls until I got killed like some I knew. That night at camp I saw people doing something I had never seen before, i.e. consistently and sincerely Loving on each other sincerely, unselfishly and joyfully. I wanted what they had desperately so I decided I would imitate them so maybe I could fit and they would accept me into their joyful and loving society. I knew what they had was real when I got up that next freezing morning on Mt. Palomar, walked into the men's room and saw guys really joyful and really loving each other, heart to heart and eye to eye -- like a loving and joyous family reunion on a Sunday afternoon. All the more I decided that I wanted what they had and tried to imitate them so I could at least be accepted by them, if I couldn't have what they had. On a noon hike that Saturday I was hanging out on the edge of the group, trying to fit

catch what they had. I tripped over a Manzanilla root and meant to say "shoot" but said "sheet" instead, and said it loud enough for THEM to hear. I knew that "sheet" was "shit" with a Mexican accent to THEM and I felt I had totally blown my cover and that THEY all now knew that I wasn't really one of them. I believed they saw me for the faker and "great pretender" that I was. I blew up over that Manzanilla root, kicking it and hitting the bush while verbally overflowing with stuff like "Doggone it! What's wrong with me! I can't do anything right! I always mess up! Just about the time I think I got it right, then I mess up! What the heck is wrong with me!" Now I don't know if she was an angel or not. I never saw her before or after that encounter with the bush. I never got her name. Later when I tried to figure out who she was, I thought that maybe it was a young lady at church who looked a lot like her, but she denied that it was her. Well whoever she

she came gently over to me as I was kicking the root and hitting the tree and verbally dumping. She quietly stood beside me and asked me if I would like to know why I do things like I was doing, why I mess up. Well you know that I wanted to know that, because I was sick and tired of messing up, especially after messing up in the presence of the first real joyful and loving people I ever knew. So she asked me to sit down on a big rock over looking Don Valley on Palomar Mt. and she proceeded to explain to me why I messed and how Jesus could still Love a jerk like me, that He wanted a personal and intimate relationship, to be my God and King, my Shepherd and my Deliverer, and to make me a forever son of His Father. For the next three hours she showed me, gently and patiently, how and why Jesus Loved me. I believed Jesus was real, but I sure didn't think that He Loved me. The proof that persuaded me that God not only could but actually did Love me was t

Christ died for me, died in my place, took my rap and punishment. I could argue with most other points, but I couldn't deny that Jesus died. Even unbelievers believed Jesus lived and died. To me that was a historical fact that few disputed. So when I saw that I had solid historical evidence that Jesus died, I was ready to seriously consider that just maybe He Loved me enough to really die for me. I respected and believed the Bible, so when she showed me book after book, chapter after chapter, verse after verse that plainly stated that the reason Jesus died (that solid historical fact), was because God so Loved me and the world and because He wanted to Love me as my Father, as Shepherd, as King, as Deliverer in a very intimate and personal relationship, - - - - my eyes began to see, my mind to understand, and my heart wanted that Love. When she showed me why He let them kill Him, that it was His choice, that He died to take my place in the court of Divine

-- well she had me. I couldn't deny that he died, and she persuaded that God so Loved me that He sent His only begotten Son to die in my place so that I could be His forever child ---- Eureka! Yahoo! Hot dog! I had discovered the Love I was looking for, a Love that I could live for, a Love to give my life to and for. I already believed that He rose from the dead and was coming back. Now I could have a relationship with the GOD who was real, unselfish and compassionate cherishing Love. I believed her, accepted Him and got all excited. I told her that I had to check all of this out with the youth sponsor, Chuck Hill, to make sure that all that she told me was right on. If she were an angel, then I can see why I had to check it out with Chuck, because the Bible makes it plain that soul-winning is the work, not of angels, but of the Spirit and his human servants. After Chuck confirmed everything the woman had told me, I tanked him and went up the other hi

Divorce due to be finished in August. Legally married three times and believing Jesus that if a couple were genuine believers in Jesus, were free to marry in Jesus, and then married as genuine believers, they are maritally bound to each other in the Kingdom of God as long as they both live (Matthew 5:32; 19:5,6; 1 Corinthians 7:10,11,39; Romans 7:1-5). Each of my legal wives eventually divorced me. Not sure at all if the last one is really saved, since it seems like a 1 Corith 7:12,15 situation. Since each of my wives realized that I might still be maritally bound to my previous wives in the Kingdom of God, they decided to do the Jacob, Abraham and David thing and marry me even though I may still be bound to my previous wives and one or more of them might use their 1 Corinth 7:11 option and return to be wife to me even though I had gone on and legally married another in the absence of my departed wives. I am friends with all of my departed wives except for the one who tragically died and the two I almost married but with whom I have lost contact.